


Agents of SHIELD: Stolen Memories

by Alasse Fefalas (sanzochan)



Series: Agents of SHIELD: Not trying to hurt you but I don't believe you [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, F/M, Romance, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1618757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanzochan/pseuds/Alasse%20Fefalas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Anything To Protect You and Breaking Apart. Takes place after Nothing Personal. Coulson finds out Fury did more than just change his memories. Philinda. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agents of SHIELD: Stolen Memories

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you haven't read Anything to Protect You and Breaking Apart, I would suggest reading that first. Some things in this fic might not make sense if you've not read it yet. 
> 
> This happens right after Nothing Personal. Enjoy!

**Stolen Memories**

By Alasse Fefalas

"Coulson?" May called out softly. Her left hand moved towards him, to touch his shoulder but she froze right before contact. Their relationship was still in tatters and she didn't want to do anything to make it worse, especially right after him finding out he was the one in charge of project T.A.H.I.T.I. originally. "You okay?"

Her breath was caught in her throat, waiting for him to move, to answer her. His previous answer to her question nagged at the back of her mind but she was more worried for him than she cared about him biting back at her. He hadn't moved from the position since the video ended and she was afraid he had gone into shock. 

Deciding it was worth the risk, she placed her hand on his shoulder. Coulson jumped at the light touch, his head turning sharply to the right to find the source of the contact. May could see the pain and confusion in his eyes as he tried to wrap his head around the revelation. She was tempted to pull her hand back but she kept it there, a reassurance for him that he wasn't alone, wasn't dreaming it all up. "You okay?" she asked again.

"I... I don't know," Coulson admitted. "Where did you find this?"

May's lips tightened into a line. She didn't want to cause him more pain but he had to know. "Your grave."

"How did you know it was there?"

"I figured out Fury's riddle."

"Oh," he said simply. Turning back to the laptop, he stared at the now-black screen. "I wasn't expecting this. I was so sure it was someone else."

"I know."

"I don't remember anything about it." Coulson clenched his fist angrily. "Nothing at all!"

"They erased your memory," May reminded him calmly.

"Then how come I can remember the surgery?!" he shouted, banging his fist on the table.

May wrapped her right hand around his, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand in slow, circular motions. "I'm no expert in cognition," she said softly, "but I think they couldn't erase that memory because you were too traumatised. So they changed it."

Coulson said nothing. He watched May's thumb move as took deep breaths and slowly let them out to calm himself down. Little by little, his hand uncurled. Turning his palm over, he entwined his hand with hers. "You came back," he whispered, his eyes not leaving their hands.

"Didn't think you wanted me back." She almost wanted to take back her words, wished she hadn't said anything at all. Her voice had trembled, the pain clearly audible. She was normally in control of her emotions but the past few days had taken a toll on her.

Coulson finally looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said, voice heavy with regret. "I was mean and I pushed you away... it was stupid. I was stupid."

May's hand dropped from his shoulder. "It's okay."

Coulson stood up abruptly. He turned and faced her. His hand held on tight to hers. "It's _not_ okay! I _shot_ you! I compromised your safety! I _hurt_ you! All because you were following orders."

"I wanted to tell you," May confessed. "I couldn't."

"I know," sighed Coulson.

"I wasn't doing it for Fury. I was doing it for you, Phil. No one knew how you'd react."

"And I went straight into the deep end." Coulson cracked a cynic smile. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I just.. I overreacted. I didn't want to push you away. I needed you. You mean a lot to me too."

May felt a flash of pain in her chest. He didn't know what they had together. He had no memories of them.

"May...?" Coulson called out quietly.

"Do you remember anything after Bahrain?"

"I remember you taking on crazy missions but then I talked you into transferring to Admin," Coulson recounted. "Why?"

"Just... talking?"

"Yeah, why?" he pressed.

May sighed. "We did more than just talk, Phil."

"What do you mean more than ju--" Coulson paused, realising what she had meant. "Oh. Oh..."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Oh."

"I don't remember anything."

"Fury." It was a simple answer but she could see recognition registering on his face, and then anger creeping into his eyes. "He went to great lengths to protect you, Phil. We all did."

"That's going too far," Coulson growled. "He had no right!"

"He didn't want you finding out."

"That's stupid!" Coulson stepped forwards, closing the gap between them. Their bodies almost touched. The only thing between them were their entwined hands. Coulson touched his forehead to hers, his eyes piercing hers. "I thought I was going crazy," he whispered. "I kept seeing flashes of you and me... together..."

May's eyes widened in surprise. "I thought he deleted the memory."

"Some things persist, it seems," shrugged Coulson.

"Like your surgery."

"No," Coulson said, shaking his head. "Like you."

May felt her defences shatter when she felt his lips on hers. Soft and tentative at first, then needy, desperate. Their hands unlatched as they held onto each other, both pulling one closer to the other. She felt herself being pushed backwards, and she let herself go, allowing Coulson to guide her where ever he wanted. It was Phil. It had always been Phil. She trusted him with her life.

She felt the bed on the back of her knees and his hands under her shirt, in her hair. Her hands had already discarded his jacket and tie, her fingers brushing the buttons on his shirt. He nudged her further backwards, making them both drop on the bed. He pulled apart, his hands on either side of her head. His face was flushed, hair dishevelled.

"Melinda... I still can't remember what happened that night but I sure as hell won't let Fury let me forget this one."

May smiled. She reached upwards and pulled him towards her. "I'll hold you to that."

\-- * --

"You're staring," May said, feeling his eyes on her even though her own eyes were closed.

"I was just admiring how beautiful you are."

"No, you're staring."

Coulson raised an eyebrow. "You're not looking at me. How do you even know that?"

"I can feel you staring."

Coulson shifted his gaze from her face to her hair. Her head was on his outstretched arm, locks spread out in a mess between them. Catching a few strands in his hands, he twisted them around his finger, the feeling triggering a vision of her on a different bed, wrapped only in blankets, similar to how they were now.

"I thought my mind was going crazy, making stuff up," Coulson said, his voice barely a whisper. "Every time I thought of you I saw this vision of us together... in bed... and me playing with your hair."

May opened her eyes. Her gaze was soft. "It's a memory."

"I still can't tell the difference between what's a real memory and what's not."

"That one's definitely real."

"And the rest?" His eyes searched hers, hoping she might have an answer.

May caressed his face. Her touch trailed down his jaw, his neck and finally traced the scar on his chest. "Memories come attached with emotion," she said softly. "Good or bad."

Coulson nodded and inched closer to her. His arm enveloped her, pulling her flush to his body. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. "I almost lost you because of my own foolishness," he said, voice muffled. "But you came back."

May said nothing. She placed a light kiss on his chest, on his scar.

Coulson leaned back and looked her in the eyes, which reflected the love and the need to protect that was in his. "I'm glad you came back." Coulson smiled.

May felt her lips tug upwards. "So am I."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This took me a long time to write. About a week and a half, I think. It's so hard to write in between studying for exams hahaha. I feel like they're a little OOC though. May is definitely talking too much, oops.
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed it either way. Reviews and critiques are very much loved and appreciated. Thanks for reading!


End file.
